Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Deflation and Metamorphosis

“Corollary to Murphy's Law: If you tell the boss that you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.”
George Edward Woodberry
When I raced in my first triathlon in July 1994, the only thing that really worried me was getting a flat tire. At the time, the idea of having to sit at the side of the road trying to replace a blown inner tube while everyone else was zooming past was somehow a Titanic-like prospect to me. I was doing the triathlon on a borrowed road bike and I had also borrowed a pump, which I clumsily duct-taped to the top tube; during my ride it shifted position and poked into my stomach each time I tried to bend over into the drops.

It was one of those old-fashioned pumps, the kind I used to have attached to my bike as a kid: a long silver tube with a little hose that was stuffed into a hole in the handle and which you screwed onto the valve to use. Of course in the race, the Presta valve on my road bike tires would not have fit the Schrader valve on the little hose, so I had also borrowed a brass adapter to make it all compatible. I was ready. As it happened, somewhere along the bike ride, the little hose slid out of its hole in the pump, fell to earth and, like Dorothy’s ruby slippers, was lost forever. But I didn’t know that at the time so I finished my maiden 40k bike feeling safe, protected, and chastely unpunctured.
My fear of flat tires that first day nearly twenty years ago must have been born of prescience, as I have had more of them than any cyclist I know. I am actually one of those people you see during a race at the side of the road - bike upside down with one wheel lying on the ground and a discarded inner tube curled around his feet - and are glad you are not him.

Most recently, the rear tire on my commuting bike experienced a series of slow leaks. Each morning I would come out to find the tire flat, with no apparent cause. I could find nothing whatsoever wrong with the tire or the rim, and stupidly I kept replacing tubes at the rate of about one a week. For a while, I actually suspected that a neighbour was sneaking into my garage each night and letting the air out. Yes, I did eventually go out and buy a new tire, and yes it’s fixed. The functionality of my commuting bike has recently become less relevant, as I will describe below.
At the Race Across the West in 2010 we were puzzled about repeated flats in the desert until we noticed that there was a large spike-like thorn from a cactus embedded in what had been advertised as an unbreachable tire. Luckily I had my crew to change the tires for me; if I had had to do it myself at that point in the race I probably would have just lain down and let the vultures have me.

My T1 prayer:
just this once...please, no flats
At Ironman Canada in 2011, I had two flats: one while climbing Richter Pass and the other just before the out and back section at 100k. I was lucky enough to have the second one right next to the terrific support van from The Bike Barn. The observant tech volunteer noticed that my rim tape had shifted, exposing my tube to the holes in the rim, which explained the recurring blowouts. A new piece of tape, a replaced inner tube and I was on my way. Like Chrissie Wellington blowing away her one CO2 cartridge without getting any into the tire while leading the race in Kona, two flats in one Ironman comes under my personal definition of Worst Case Race Scenario. Having undergone it once, I like to think that if the Universe is inflating as it should, I should be exempt in the future.
One good thing about every flat tire I have ever had is that somehow I have gotten each one fixed and then carried on. I have learned to say "OK, it’s happened; now what do we do?" Those who have never flatted have not had this opportunity; they are still waiting and worrying about what they will do when it eventually does happen. I have learned what life is like on the far side of a flat and I feel somehow richer for the experience. And I’ve learned that the only wrong thing you can do is to do nothing.

A flat tire during a bike ride is an event that requires that you stop, assess the situation, consider the options, and choose your next steps: you can sit at the roadside communing with the mosquitos and looking forlorn until someone comes along to help; you can call your wife to come and pick you up; or you can fix the problem and get on your way. A world of choices appears that wasn’t there before.

A few weeks ago I was presented with another such challenge when the financial industry job I had held for many years was erased from existence by the company I worked for and I was suddenly unemployed. Not their fault any more than a flat tire is the fault of the bike, but the feeling was somewhat the same: OK, it’s happened; now what do we do? I have found myself presented with myriad choices that weren’t there before. And like standing beside my disabled bicycle in the blazing August sun halfway up Richter Pass, doing nothing is the only unacceptable option.

Many choices. All the better for getting on my way again.

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